Watchmen + 300 + High Budget Porno = SUCKER PUNCH

The Ultimate Chick Flick for Men

Before I start this review I have to give a huge shout out to the beautiful woman in this movie, may you stay hot, forever. Now...

Suckerpunch is basically the best movie of all time when you attempt to explain the movie to someone, please allow me: Imagine story where the 6 main characters are woman and 5 of them are gorgeous (one is lacking her name is Rocket) and they live in a brothel-like place and when this one girl named baby doll does some crazy gyrating dance they enter a dream world. This dream world is filled with big ass ninjas that have gattling guns, massive dragons, World-War II battle sequences and hot girls.

This movie defines sexy in more ways than one, the first way being that it is sexy when a sexy woman is carrying around a sexy ninja sword and is sexyly jumping over stuff which is super sexy. The second way that it is sexy is in that smooth, flawless, pacing sexy, much like the way James Bond is sexy.

Although this movie was much like watching a soft-core porno, there was about 45 mintues of it that could have been much improved. This 45 mintues that I speak of is when Zach Snyder (Director) tries to develop the plot, not saying that he didn't develop it but that I wasn't to heavily invested in the characters personalities. This same 45 minutes included the low-lights of the movie, the parts that I like to call emotional.

The music in this movie is something to be commented on, it was covers of rocks song, with a very unique and original twist. It made for some very, intense and cool sequences from dancing to fighting.

The movie was amazingly entertaining, it was the ultimate guys movie, and oddly rated 14A, good job Zack Snyder. Calling all director of chick flick films: WATCH THIS MOVIE! And learn how to get the male audience!!!

I See Potential Limits...

The moral of the story is "DO ILLICT DRUGS" because they make your life better.

Limitless definently had a limit and it was about a 6.5 maybe a 7 out of 10. If you have seen the commercials then you know most of the movie. Basically a loser-hobo-newyork-writer takes a pill and then he can access 100% of his brain, this basically makes him the smartest person in the world - BUT WAIT!!! - there's a problem he could run out, people want what he has, there is a limit to his power...

The movie revolves around Bradley Cooper who has had a pretty shitty life and then he is offered a Pill to make him feel better, after taking this one pill he needs more, after taking more he climbs the world's richest and smartest peoples list, and then a bunch of stuff happens that I am clearly not going to tell you because I think you should go see the movie and there is a cliff hanger ending.

The acting in this movie could be much improved as the lead female Mrs. I have never seen her before literally couldn't produce a single emotion and I am betting that is why she got her clever nickname. Robert de Niro was by far the best actor in the movie but he only had about 40 lines. Bradley Cooper was alright. The cinematography in this movie was pretty cool from the endless streets, to the lighting and darkening of a persons vision to know if they were on the pill or not.

The pacing in this movie was pretty well done I didn't get bored at all, and I wasn't taken out of the movie at all even during the 25 minute withdraw scene, were he just ends up throwing up everywhere, and potentially killing someone.

I recommend the movie to those that want to be entertained, but if you are looking for a multi-dimensional movie, with layers of character development and like 400 underlying themes then you shouldn't watch this movie, like at all.

RATING

S-A-B-r-e

TH..a KIn...G'.S Spe...aC..h (or lack there of)

Not the Best Movie of The Year

When you think about the best film of the year, you may think of a movie that inspires you, or that is more than just talking head the whole time, well think again because The King's Speech is literally all talking heads. I guess if you were to here a movie called The King's Speech you would assume that there maybe alot of dialouge, and you would have assumed right.

Before I rip this movie apart I must say that it was a pretty good movie, and I think that alot of people would watch it again. I also must I say that colin firth did do a great job. Now.....

This movie was probably as boring as trying to have a conversation with helen keller about paint drying on a wall, and the paint colour was called grass growing really fucking slowly. During the movie there were long drawn-out scenes of either colin firth smoking, or looking at something, or someone else talking to colin firth were he doesn't talk back. If I had to compare the pace of this movie to a really life situation it would be the pace of a blind quadrapoligic "running" a quadrupile marathon throught the gobi desert ( making a little bit of an hyberbole but you get the point)


Helena Bonham Carter was nominated for best supporting actress, And I literally have no idea why, just because the movie was nominated, and Colin Firth was nominated doesn't mean that she had to be. She literally stood there. She didn't really have much screen time, or very many lines. Anyone that stepped into this role would have been nominated for best supporting actress.

The speech also sucked, it seemed like it might have been building up to an inspiring speech that brought together the whole not-great into some awesome montouge, and I could have left the thearte thinking "WOW! WHO AWESOMELY INSPIRING! THAT MOVIE HAD MEANING AND WAS AWESOME!" unforunately I didn't have this overwhelming feeling. Good - Not Great - Definatly not the best movie of the year - Good job Colin Firth - Didn't really do a job Helena Bonham-Carter - and Slow!!


Overall SABRE rating:
S-A-B-r-e