Sports Movies Pay Attention!

The Damned United is exactly what a sports movie should be. The Damned United follows famous English manager Brian Clough as he takes over one of England's biggest clubs at the time Leeds United. He only stays on as manager for 44 days before he is fired. The first thing that stands out about this compared to other sports movies is that it is about a failure. It isn't some fairy tale run where you know the underdog team is going to rise above the odds and win some unimaginable competition. It is about a big club which had won the English title the year before falling flat on their ass.

The movie is much more about Brian Clough and his right hand man Peter Taylor than anything else, so for the producers to tell this story they could have chose one of their many success: winning the European Cup with Nottingham Forrest, winning the English First Divison with Derby County, but instead they chose the biggest failure of Brian Clough's career. What this did was allow the movie to be a real story with a lighthearted feel.

This movie was not a comedy, but unlike other sports movies there was no lame cliched inspirational soundtrack, there was no inspiring speech in slow motion, instead there was irony, humour and a taste of realism. Nothing is romanticized it is just told to you the way it is.

What really keeps the movie going is the clever wit of Brian Clough played by Michael Sheen. I would recommend learning a bit of the back story before going to see the Damned United, especially on Clough because Michael Sheen portrays him perfectly. One of the highlights of the film is Clough's first speech to the players when he arrives at Leeds. For those who are fans of British humour, the Damned United is a must watch.

For directors out there looking to make an original sports movie look no further than the Damned United for inspiration. The Damned United is proof that not all sports movies have to be heavy-handed, dramatic, underdog stories.

Eli's Book of Awful

If you are a bible lover that believes in the passage of god and his eternal sight than you might like this movie. For everyone who doesn't give a fuck you are going to like about 35% of this movie because the other 65% is about the passage of god and his eternal sight.

The movie is a unexplained, post-apocalyptic, biblical, thriller about a guy, who you are to assume is named Eli, walking across America to protect a scared book. After coming into a town to stop for water and to get some sort of battery fixed he finds that the "mayor" of the town wants the book too and he will kill to get it.

Although this movie had a "hidden", "underlying" motif of god (which usually equals a lame movie) this movie was able to keep the action pretty intense and quick paced. The first fight taken place under a bridge in a silhouette style which looks fucking awesome! With only two swords ( probably sharpened by god) Eli is able to cause massive damage.

Although the movie was about god and what not it was able to do the opposite of Passion of the Christ and keep a comedic tone about it. After Eli has escaped a town he finds a pretty old couple and ends up in a fire fight with the evil mayor guy. Now it might not sound funny but it quite comedic.

Now although I didn't like the movie I must say that Denzel Washington is the best apocalyptic, blind, country walking, monk that has ever hit the silver screen. He was absolutely amazing in this performance and with Gary Oldman as the stunning evil character the movie was filled with brilliant acting.

If you would like to watch a movie in which once again tries to capture the essence of god then go ahead please waste your money because all this movie does is explain a crazy man's dilution for walking with a book.

Vampire Reversal

A vampire movie that isn't stupid.

The movie Daybreakers creates a society in which the default role of humans hunting  vampires becomes reversed. It was very cool to see that way that the society functioned. The movie takes place in the year 2019 were a plague has caused all humans to turn into vampires. 

The main conflict of the movie is that the human blood supply is running out and when the vampires do not get the proper amount of blood they turn into some sort of retarded giant bat thing with 50X as much muscle as the normal vampire has. Edward Dalton ( Ethan Hawke) was "turned" by his brother. Since he didn't want to become he is obviously going to be the main character in this "original" plot line. 

The best part of the movie comes from how true this movie stays to vampires because for some reason youth today feel that it is okay for a vampire to go outside, and not only do they not die, they fucking sparkle. These vampire can't go outside/need to drink blood/get killed by stakes...etc. 

The vampire harvest and form human in order to have enough blood to sustain society, which they need or else they turn into retard bats. Now there are still quite a few humans out in the bloodsucking world, these humans have figured out a way to turn vampires back into humans through sunlight ( awwww what beautiful irony) Since there are so few humans they need to band together in order to survive so they go out and get each other. Most of the humans actions happen at nighttime, this begs the question: Why the fuck would you do anything at night? and then guess what happens ( Spoiler Alert) THEY DIE! 

I my personal opinion the special effects in this movie were lacking realism. At one point a truck slides into a wooden plank and it looks about as realistic as the effects in a bad porno. The was good but it lacked something like ummm... a... AN ENDING, this movie leaves you with some sort artistic beautiful ending not actually ending the movie, this emotion of turns into the feeling of Why did I just watch this movie if I am not going to know what happens?/ What the fuck happens? The unique movie idea was pretty cool, but had quite a few flaws, but at least it isn't about vampires that stalk there "lovers" or have their babies eat their way out of them.

Overall Rating: S-A-B-r-e

Overall Rating: S-A-B-r-e