Immortals

Plot: Looks like it is going to be a mix between 300 and Clash of the Titans, A guy is going to defeat the odds cause it is his destiny

Actors: BAD!!! maybe Mickey Rourke will be okay, but this is not a movie that is built on actors

Box Office: It will do okay, in the hundred millions, cause of all the marketing and high budget, but it won't stay in theatres for more than 3 weeks.

30 minutes or less

Our Predictions:

Looks: Hilarious, might get slow at some point, but it going to be hilarious

Box Office: It is going to do when, but no avatar, maybe 60 million, and will probably be #1 on opening weekend.

Jessie Eisenberg: Hilarious Stoner, like Zombieland

Aziz Ansari: Also Hilarious, no question there is going to be a slight falling out, but they will get back together.

Let's see how Sabre Does.... Comment if you think you can out predict us...

Conan the Barbarian

Looks: Like it is going to be okay, not great and might try to have some sort of metaphorical tendencies which I will dislike. Other than that might be pretty cool

Box Office: cant really put my finger on this, I dont think it will last more than 3 weeks, but still pull quite a bit of movie

Conan: Jacked

Bad guys: Stupid

Let's see how Sabre Does.... Comment if you think you can out predict us...

Captain America

Breaking news - Little kid turns into muscle machine, and makes movie!

The newest instalment of the ultimate avengers movie is out in theatres and it is Captain America! The movie acted as a giant setup, for the avengers. I found much of the movie quite redundant, back tracking on itself as well as not really making to much sense....

There is one point in the movie where the army has refused to go and rescue numerous prisoner because it is to far behind enemy lines, and is much to difficult... well captain america says fuck that and goes in himself, and then saves all the prisoners, and then.... wait for it.... they walk back! yep thats right, they WALKS BACK, unharmed.... stupid. The title of the movie may also be a little misleading although it says Captain America is should really say - little hormone deprived man with the ability to be overly unlucky, I call it this because about half the movie is about the little man, not captain america.

The acting in this movie was actually quite well done, Chris Evans who clearly needs some body work done, is quite compelling, especially in his last scene. Hugo Weaving playing Red Skull, did a great job playing a power hungry hydra leader.  Hayley Atwell did a great job playing the 40's love interest.

The movies art direction and cinematography was good, keeping a old, dirty and gritty look to it, much like in World War II, some classic scene include the obvious motorcycle jumping of Captain America. The movie was able to setup a strong foundation for the plot of the avengers, helping with the beginning of the shield program, and why the avengers will be needed, it was a necessary movie to act as a platform for the much anticipated Ultimate Avengers film.

The movie has some stupid plot points, but looked good and had a some decent acting in it....

Overall Rating:

S-A-b-r-e

Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows Part II - The best one yet!

After a decade of movies, it is now time to say goodbye to arguably the most amazing movies saga of all time, and unarguably the most magical.

Harry potter and the Deathly Hollows Part II was fucking unbelievable!!! Every moment was gripping and keep the audience alive! The movie lived true to the book, only missing a few scene and adding in even fewer. The series of Harry Potter is done justice in this film.

Award to... DAVID YATES! I still remember the day where David stepped forth the take on the role of director for the 5th movie, and it was much different than the film previous, not in a good way. But now he has lived up to an almost unachievable standard of movie making, where he is able to put the book fully onto the screen, with a few twists and some different approaches but still great!

In the original movies the actor were extremely young and quite new to the wizarding world of movie making, and the casting director should get a divination medal for being able to tell the glorious future of all the actor who have out shined themselves again and again as the potter series continued! Although the casting person who hired Bonnie Wright (Ginny Weasley) should be branded with "I'm as awful as Bonnie's acting skills" and exiled to casting broken legs.

The only really downfall of the movie and the most upsetting part was the changing of the ending, I don't know why it was necessary and seemed pointless the change the end as it would have made no difference to the audience for those who had read the books or not. Their were other small parts that seemed pointless to change, such as Hermione not giving the goblin her wand when everything stills says the same with the rest of the scene.

But when all is said and done, it was an amazing film that did an amazing job wrapping up the series. From beginning to end the movie was riveting, fun, dark, entertaining, and magical. The music, acting (except fucking Ginny), plot, and tone were all perfect.

P.S - The 3d was pretty good, I have seen it in both 3d and 2d, and I enjoyed 2d more, but it is all preference, switch it up, cause you'll see it more than once.

Overall Sabre Rating:

S-A-B-R-E

Green with.....Envy, no..... Green with Greed,no..... Green with not a good movie, YES!

The Green lantern was a movie, which had a big budget actor, the most desirable woman of the year, and nothing else.

The movie is about Hal Jordan (Ryan Reynolds) who inherits a ring, that is fuelled by the will of all living things. It can do anything, no big deal. Hal wearing the ring must kill an evil guy, hector who is infected by parallax - stupid name. Hal gets the girl, and the super suit, and the ring, and he is Ryan Reynolds.

The opening fifteen minute of this movie was absolutely terrible; it was completely CGIed with purple men, pinky men, and a weird smoke guy, parallax. The camera just kept zooming in and out of cosmic things, and galaxies, and a narrator who seemed to be 87 years old talk about parallax and some guy capturing him. I have mentioned Parallax numerous times, and my feelings on Parallax are that, he is one of the worst villains of all time!!!!!! his power is the colour yellow! (And fear, big deal) Who ever CGIed him should be fired, and moved to the colouring partly in the lines department.

Although the movie’s plot lacked in most ways, a huge amount of love must do out to ask men's most desirable woman of the year - Blake lively. I guarantee that a 5 to 10 minutes sex scene, with the Blake lively and Ryan Reynolds would have made it the movie of the year and a “hottest-sex-bomb scene” or something people choice awards. Just as a side note, Hal is not smart, he tried to stop a crashing helicopter with a race-track and some make-shift-piece-of-shit-car, stupid Hal.

But the best part of the movie by far, that blow all other parts of the movie out of the water, or space, was the guardians...now close your eyes...then open them (cause your going to have to read, just getting you into the mind set) they are a bunch of stupid little aliening probing-like creatures that are identical to the ones in the newest Indiana Jones....and they can long capes. I am sorry to the producers but I could not take the high and mighty guardians seriously.

Overall, if you want a little fun, some terrible plot lines, really bad physics (Hal flew to the sun in 20 seconds) and a very hot girl, go see it.
Overall Rating:
S-A-b-r-e

Watchmen + 300 + High Budget Porno = SUCKER PUNCH

The Ultimate Chick Flick for Men

Before I start this review I have to give a huge shout out to the beautiful woman in this movie, may you stay hot, forever. Now...

Suckerpunch is basically the best movie of all time when you attempt to explain the movie to someone, please allow me: Imagine story where the 6 main characters are woman and 5 of them are gorgeous (one is lacking her name is Rocket) and they live in a brothel-like place and when this one girl named baby doll does some crazy gyrating dance they enter a dream world. This dream world is filled with big ass ninjas that have gattling guns, massive dragons, World-War II battle sequences and hot girls.

This movie defines sexy in more ways than one, the first way being that it is sexy when a sexy woman is carrying around a sexy ninja sword and is sexyly jumping over stuff which is super sexy. The second way that it is sexy is in that smooth, flawless, pacing sexy, much like the way James Bond is sexy.

Although this movie was much like watching a soft-core porno, there was about 45 mintues of it that could have been much improved. This 45 mintues that I speak of is when Zach Snyder (Director) tries to develop the plot, not saying that he didn't develop it but that I wasn't to heavily invested in the characters personalities. This same 45 minutes included the low-lights of the movie, the parts that I like to call emotional.

The music in this movie is something to be commented on, it was covers of rocks song, with a very unique and original twist. It made for some very, intense and cool sequences from dancing to fighting.

The movie was amazingly entertaining, it was the ultimate guys movie, and oddly rated 14A, good job Zack Snyder. Calling all director of chick flick films: WATCH THIS MOVIE! And learn how to get the male audience!!!