Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows Part II - The best one yet!

After a decade of movies, it is now time to say goodbye to arguably the most amazing movies saga of all time, and unarguably the most magical.

Harry potter and the Deathly Hollows Part II was fucking unbelievable!!! Every moment was gripping and keep the audience alive! The movie lived true to the book, only missing a few scene and adding in even fewer. The series of Harry Potter is done justice in this film.

Award to... DAVID YATES! I still remember the day where David stepped forth the take on the role of director for the 5th movie, and it was much different than the film previous, not in a good way. But now he has lived up to an almost unachievable standard of movie making, where he is able to put the book fully onto the screen, with a few twists and some different approaches but still great!

In the original movies the actor were extremely young and quite new to the wizarding world of movie making, and the casting director should get a divination medal for being able to tell the glorious future of all the actor who have out shined themselves again and again as the potter series continued! Although the casting person who hired Bonnie Wright (Ginny Weasley) should be branded with "I'm as awful as Bonnie's acting skills" and exiled to casting broken legs.

The only really downfall of the movie and the most upsetting part was the changing of the ending, I don't know why it was necessary and seemed pointless the change the end as it would have made no difference to the audience for those who had read the books or not. Their were other small parts that seemed pointless to change, such as Hermione not giving the goblin her wand when everything stills says the same with the rest of the scene.

But when all is said and done, it was an amazing film that did an amazing job wrapping up the series. From beginning to end the movie was riveting, fun, dark, entertaining, and magical. The music, acting (except fucking Ginny), plot, and tone were all perfect.

P.S - The 3d was pretty good, I have seen it in both 3d and 2d, and I enjoyed 2d more, but it is all preference, switch it up, cause you'll see it more than once.

Overall Sabre Rating:

S-A-B-R-E

Green with.....Envy, no..... Green with Greed,no..... Green with not a good movie, YES!

The Green lantern was a movie, which had a big budget actor, the most desirable woman of the year, and nothing else.

The movie is about Hal Jordan (Ryan Reynolds) who inherits a ring, that is fuelled by the will of all living things. It can do anything, no big deal. Hal wearing the ring must kill an evil guy, hector who is infected by parallax - stupid name. Hal gets the girl, and the super suit, and the ring, and he is Ryan Reynolds.

The opening fifteen minute of this movie was absolutely terrible; it was completely CGIed with purple men, pinky men, and a weird smoke guy, parallax. The camera just kept zooming in and out of cosmic things, and galaxies, and a narrator who seemed to be 87 years old talk about parallax and some guy capturing him. I have mentioned Parallax numerous times, and my feelings on Parallax are that, he is one of the worst villains of all time!!!!!! his power is the colour yellow! (And fear, big deal) Who ever CGIed him should be fired, and moved to the colouring partly in the lines department.

Although the movie’s plot lacked in most ways, a huge amount of love must do out to ask men's most desirable woman of the year - Blake lively. I guarantee that a 5 to 10 minutes sex scene, with the Blake lively and Ryan Reynolds would have made it the movie of the year and a “hottest-sex-bomb scene” or something people choice awards. Just as a side note, Hal is not smart, he tried to stop a crashing helicopter with a race-track and some make-shift-piece-of-shit-car, stupid Hal.

But the best part of the movie by far, that blow all other parts of the movie out of the water, or space, was the guardians...now close your eyes...then open them (cause your going to have to read, just getting you into the mind set) they are a bunch of stupid little aliening probing-like creatures that are identical to the ones in the newest Indiana Jones....and they can long capes. I am sorry to the producers but I could not take the high and mighty guardians seriously.

Overall, if you want a little fun, some terrible plot lines, really bad physics (Hal flew to the sun in 20 seconds) and a very hot girl, go see it.
Overall Rating:
S-A-b-r-e

Watchmen + 300 + High Budget Porno = SUCKER PUNCH

The Ultimate Chick Flick for Men

Before I start this review I have to give a huge shout out to the beautiful woman in this movie, may you stay hot, forever. Now...

Suckerpunch is basically the best movie of all time when you attempt to explain the movie to someone, please allow me: Imagine story where the 6 main characters are woman and 5 of them are gorgeous (one is lacking her name is Rocket) and they live in a brothel-like place and when this one girl named baby doll does some crazy gyrating dance they enter a dream world. This dream world is filled with big ass ninjas that have gattling guns, massive dragons, World-War II battle sequences and hot girls.

This movie defines sexy in more ways than one, the first way being that it is sexy when a sexy woman is carrying around a sexy ninja sword and is sexyly jumping over stuff which is super sexy. The second way that it is sexy is in that smooth, flawless, pacing sexy, much like the way James Bond is sexy.

Although this movie was much like watching a soft-core porno, there was about 45 mintues of it that could have been much improved. This 45 mintues that I speak of is when Zach Snyder (Director) tries to develop the plot, not saying that he didn't develop it but that I wasn't to heavily invested in the characters personalities. This same 45 minutes included the low-lights of the movie, the parts that I like to call emotional.

The music in this movie is something to be commented on, it was covers of rocks song, with a very unique and original twist. It made for some very, intense and cool sequences from dancing to fighting.

The movie was amazingly entertaining, it was the ultimate guys movie, and oddly rated 14A, good job Zack Snyder. Calling all director of chick flick films: WATCH THIS MOVIE! And learn how to get the male audience!!!

I See Potential Limits...

The moral of the story is "DO ILLICT DRUGS" because they make your life better.

Limitless definently had a limit and it was about a 6.5 maybe a 7 out of 10. If you have seen the commercials then you know most of the movie. Basically a loser-hobo-newyork-writer takes a pill and then he can access 100% of his brain, this basically makes him the smartest person in the world - BUT WAIT!!! - there's a problem he could run out, people want what he has, there is a limit to his power...

The movie revolves around Bradley Cooper who has had a pretty shitty life and then he is offered a Pill to make him feel better, after taking this one pill he needs more, after taking more he climbs the world's richest and smartest peoples list, and then a bunch of stuff happens that I am clearly not going to tell you because I think you should go see the movie and there is a cliff hanger ending.

The acting in this movie could be much improved as the lead female Mrs. I have never seen her before literally couldn't produce a single emotion and I am betting that is why she got her clever nickname. Robert de Niro was by far the best actor in the movie but he only had about 40 lines. Bradley Cooper was alright. The cinematography in this movie was pretty cool from the endless streets, to the lighting and darkening of a persons vision to know if they were on the pill or not.

The pacing in this movie was pretty well done I didn't get bored at all, and I wasn't taken out of the movie at all even during the 25 minute withdraw scene, were he just ends up throwing up everywhere, and potentially killing someone.

I recommend the movie to those that want to be entertained, but if you are looking for a multi-dimensional movie, with layers of character development and like 400 underlying themes then you shouldn't watch this movie, like at all.

RATING

S-A-B-r-e

TH..a KIn...G'.S Spe...aC..h (or lack there of)

Not the Best Movie of The Year

When you think about the best film of the year, you may think of a movie that inspires you, or that is more than just talking head the whole time, well think again because The King's Speech is literally all talking heads. I guess if you were to here a movie called The King's Speech you would assume that there maybe alot of dialouge, and you would have assumed right.

Before I rip this movie apart I must say that it was a pretty good movie, and I think that alot of people would watch it again. I also must I say that colin firth did do a great job. Now.....

This movie was probably as boring as trying to have a conversation with helen keller about paint drying on a wall, and the paint colour was called grass growing really fucking slowly. During the movie there were long drawn-out scenes of either colin firth smoking, or looking at something, or someone else talking to colin firth were he doesn't talk back. If I had to compare the pace of this movie to a really life situation it would be the pace of a blind quadrapoligic "running" a quadrupile marathon throught the gobi desert ( making a little bit of an hyberbole but you get the point)


Helena Bonham Carter was nominated for best supporting actress, And I literally have no idea why, just because the movie was nominated, and Colin Firth was nominated doesn't mean that she had to be. She literally stood there. She didn't really have much screen time, or very many lines. Anyone that stepped into this role would have been nominated for best supporting actress.

The speech also sucked, it seemed like it might have been building up to an inspiring speech that brought together the whole not-great into some awesome montouge, and I could have left the thearte thinking "WOW! WHO AWESOMELY INSPIRING! THAT MOVIE HAD MEANING AND WAS AWESOME!" unforunately I didn't have this overwhelming feeling. Good - Not Great - Definatly not the best movie of the year - Good job Colin Firth - Didn't really do a job Helena Bonham-Carter - and Slow!!


Overall SABRE rating:
S-A-B-r-e

A Whole Lot of Really Good Nothing

She Literally Becomes the Black Swan, in the Mental Sense

The movie The Black Swan is about a woman who would probably be admitted to a pysc – ward with round the clock watch, with a sign on the door that reads – “Clinically Insane/ with hint of excessive obsession behaviour”. She is a ballerina, mentally fragile to begin with, and then receives the lead in Swan Lake and becomes completely fucking crazy.

The film revolves around Natalie Portman’s character Nina, and her declining mental state. She has always been devoted to ballet but this becomes an obsession that affects her health, as she strives to follow her director’s advice and dance with abandon and life.

Natalie Portman is absolutely amazing in her role as Nina and plays a really good FCG (Fucking Crazy Girl). She is happy/sad/up/down/high/innocent/drunk/prudish/beautiful/menacing in her role; it is clear and obvious why she is nominated for an Oscar.

The cinematography portion of this movie is exceptional, from every close cut camera angle to the same dance routine thirty times and especially to the gritty rave scene. There the music pounds louder and louder, as Nina tries to free herself by matching the free-spirit nature of the new dancer Lily. The rest of the time however when not the club scene or the music of the Swan Lake, the score made the movie closer to a horror movie. The second that deep violin music started playing you knew shit was going to go down.

The movie for acting, directing, and cinematic view was amazing and near perfect but where the movie started to lack was the screenplay. It lacked in the caring department; there were no stakes or reasons for us to care about the character. Sure she was a dancer who got a good role, and had a weird mother – but that doesn’t affect me or the world. FCG can be FC for all I care.

The movie also at some points had pretty strong connections to soft-core porn. Not saying it shouldn’t have been included but some things can be implied.

Overall though, The Black Swan is a great film without a good story and really is a whole lot of nothing by the end.

S-A-B-R-e

TRONTASTIC

A Deaf Person’s Favourite Movie

The 2010 Tron film is amazing to watch, provided you are either deaf or just don’t care about a plot/decent writing. The movie looks fantastic; never have roman gladiator battles been so sleek and modern; never have inflatable motorcycles looked so realistic; never has Obi Wan Kenobi dressed so much like Morpheus. It is modern eye candy that explodes off the screen in dazzling effects.

The actual content however, is a muddled heap of garbage that borderlines the film on comedy territory. Here is the basic plot: ten year old son and father have clichéd conversation, father leaves and disappears, son grows up and goes all Tony Stark on his life minus the cool factor of Robert Downey Jr., son grows up and finds his way into grid world where he finds his father trapped by the evil supervillian Clu! Oh and there are glowing Frisbees that are crucial to your survival but you can also chuck them as weapons. The title of the film I think comes from the video game from which the movie is based, and is also the name of a character who was good but now is evil but then becomes good again so in the end it is all cool.

What is actually cool is Jeff Bridges, who plays the father/creator -of-the-grid/zen-master and then as a separate character plays Clu as well. Jeff Bridges is what would happen if you combined Gandalf with a very rugged lumberjack, and then added a touch of God to the mix. In short, he is awesome. Sure the director makes him do stupid stuff like whack a guard on the head to reprogram him, or create a swirling tornado out of nowhere but that is only because Jeff Bridges is a good sport. Also it is because he got paid millions.

The movie in total cost 170 million to make, and I would make an educated guess and say that most of that money was spent on making things look wicked sweet. The problem however, is that when things look wicked sweet, they don’t look real. It’s hard to care about a violent Frisbee battle when it just looks like a dramatic video game. It is even harder to care when the dialogue from the protagonist-with-daddy-issues goes something like this: “Is this really happening?” pause for something to explode “OMG it really is.” Olivia Wilde as the Trinity of the film also seems fairly hollow. She’s unconscious for a portion in the middle of the film and the audience really doesn’t notice a difference. On a side note: can a human and a program hook up? Because that just seems weird to me.

I have not seen the original Tron, nor do I want to. Wikipedia says that it was criticized for its weak plotline, which its sequel clearly did not learn from. In the end, I just think Hollywood just needs to hold some teamwork seminars and figure out how writers like Aaron Sorkin or Diablo Cody could write the scripts for movies with awesome special effects. Like Juno but with aliens as the characters, or Tron with diaologue as fast and impressive as the motorcycle chases. That’s all I want, but I think it is about as likely as a blind person liking Tron.

Rating: S-a-b-r-e