Contagion - basically the scariest movie to watch in a public place

                                                          

 Contagion - the scariest movie ever...

The movie contagion is about virus that spreads around the world and kills people, plain and simple... but there are a lot of implications with such a simple statement, such as what will happen to all the bodies, who will be immune, who gets the vaccine first, and last but certainly not least why oh why did that bat eat that banana ( see the movie...you'll get it) 

The movie is a zombie-non-zombie thriller with a  side order of political corruption. The movie is directed by Steven Soderbergh who is such a good director that he started the worldwide epidemic on day... 2 (very classy) but to match the A-list director is a A+A+A+A+A+A list cast, including Matt Damon, Jude Law, Kate Winslet, Gwyneth Paltro, Laurence Fishburne... etc.

The movie follows the different stories of all these characters as live or don't live through the pandemic, some just normal families looking to try to live, well others are high priority citizens trying to stop the spreading. All the acting, in all the different story lines is absolutely amazing, I have no further comments on flaws (except Gwyneth Paltrow... never liked her, but she still did well)

I was watching this movie in a large theatre in downtown montreal in midst of flu season, flu season involve as shit-load of coughing, sneezing and throat clearing, which is super fun for all the health people (pointing a finger at myself) but even less fun where you are watching a movie that is purely based on the transmission of a killer virus...

The movie is fucking scary in the OMG THIS COULD HAPPEN WAY, not the HOLY-FUCK-A-POSSESSED-LITTLE-GIRL sort of way, which to me is much scarier. The cast was awesome, and the directing is quite amazing, and Steven makes the movie extremely realistic. 

SABRE RATING:

S.A.B.R.E

The "S" from SABRE writes his first article!!

The McGill Daily » Canadian national identity and rugby

Drive'n up the Genre

Drive is to Transporter as The Road is to 2012, let’s get that clear right from the start. Same basic plot does not equal same basic movie, and those looking for a mindless action film of sweet car chases and insane auto stunts best look elsewhere. Drive is a car movie based on suspense, emotion, and realism; it ain’t your average action blockbuster. 

Ryan Gosling is the mysterious ‘driver,’an unnamed and silent spaghetti-western cowboy in eighties attire, cruising gracefully through the streets of LA. He is a stunt driver for Holllywood movies and moonlights as a contract getaway driver, he is very good at both of these jobs. He is not good at conversation; he rarely speaks and this largely effects the tone of the film. His life is silent and orderly until he meets a girl (Carey Mulligan) and her young son and then his life is a romance. Then the boy’s father returns from prison, and while obviously nothing good can come from this, a lot of bad spirals out. There are threats, a heist, a set-up, a man-hunt, and more victims than a Shakespearean tragedy. 

Through all of this, it may be relevant to note that there are only two car chases. The first, in the opening, is a covert duck-and-cover through the streets of Los Angeles. The second is a high-speed chase that as far as I could tell was completely within the laws of physics. There is violence, but not elaborate shoot-outs. No one knows any forms of martial arts or owns a bazooka. The action is desperate, undignified, and violent. 

The action is therefore “real,” and the actors only help make it so. Every performance is captivating, matching the brilliant characters written for them. Real credit however, I believe should go to director Nicolas Winding Refn who has assembled these good components and turned it into a great film with a distinctive feel and originality. The music, the silence, and the understating of what most blockbusters embellish to absurdity makes this a film worth watching. It makes it a film with Drive. 

Overall Rating:

S-A-B-R-E

Immortals

Plot: Looks like it is going to be a mix between 300 and Clash of the Titans, A guy is going to defeat the odds cause it is his destiny

Actors: BAD!!! maybe Mickey Rourke will be okay, but this is not a movie that is built on actors

Box Office: It will do okay, in the hundred millions, cause of all the marketing and high budget, but it won't stay in theatres for more than 3 weeks.

30 minutes or less

Our Predictions:

Looks: Hilarious, might get slow at some point, but it going to be hilarious

Box Office: It is going to do when, but no avatar, maybe 60 million, and will probably be #1 on opening weekend.

Jessie Eisenberg: Hilarious Stoner, like Zombieland

Aziz Ansari: Also Hilarious, no question there is going to be a slight falling out, but they will get back together.

Let's see how Sabre Does.... Comment if you think you can out predict us...

Conan the Barbarian

Looks: Like it is going to be okay, not great and might try to have some sort of metaphorical tendencies which I will dislike. Other than that might be pretty cool

Box Office: cant really put my finger on this, I dont think it will last more than 3 weeks, but still pull quite a bit of movie

Conan: Jacked

Bad guys: Stupid

Let's see how Sabre Does.... Comment if you think you can out predict us...

Captain America

Breaking news - Little kid turns into muscle machine, and makes movie!

The newest instalment of the ultimate avengers movie is out in theatres and it is Captain America! The movie acted as a giant setup, for the avengers. I found much of the movie quite redundant, back tracking on itself as well as not really making to much sense....

There is one point in the movie where the army has refused to go and rescue numerous prisoner because it is to far behind enemy lines, and is much to difficult... well captain america says fuck that and goes in himself, and then saves all the prisoners, and then.... wait for it.... they walk back! yep thats right, they WALKS BACK, unharmed.... stupid. The title of the movie may also be a little misleading although it says Captain America is should really say - little hormone deprived man with the ability to be overly unlucky, I call it this because about half the movie is about the little man, not captain america.

The acting in this movie was actually quite well done, Chris Evans who clearly needs some body work done, is quite compelling, especially in his last scene. Hugo Weaving playing Red Skull, did a great job playing a power hungry hydra leader.  Hayley Atwell did a great job playing the 40's love interest.

The movies art direction and cinematography was good, keeping a old, dirty and gritty look to it, much like in World War II, some classic scene include the obvious motorcycle jumping of Captain America. The movie was able to setup a strong foundation for the plot of the avengers, helping with the beginning of the shield program, and why the avengers will be needed, it was a necessary movie to act as a platform for the much anticipated Ultimate Avengers film.

The movie has some stupid plot points, but looked good and had a some decent acting in it....

Overall Rating:

S-A-b-r-e

Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows Part II - The best one yet!

After a decade of movies, it is now time to say goodbye to arguably the most amazing movies saga of all time, and unarguably the most magical.

Harry potter and the Deathly Hollows Part II was fucking unbelievable!!! Every moment was gripping and keep the audience alive! The movie lived true to the book, only missing a few scene and adding in even fewer. The series of Harry Potter is done justice in this film.

Award to... DAVID YATES! I still remember the day where David stepped forth the take on the role of director for the 5th movie, and it was much different than the film previous, not in a good way. But now he has lived up to an almost unachievable standard of movie making, where he is able to put the book fully onto the screen, with a few twists and some different approaches but still great!

In the original movies the actor were extremely young and quite new to the wizarding world of movie making, and the casting director should get a divination medal for being able to tell the glorious future of all the actor who have out shined themselves again and again as the potter series continued! Although the casting person who hired Bonnie Wright (Ginny Weasley) should be branded with "I'm as awful as Bonnie's acting skills" and exiled to casting broken legs.

The only really downfall of the movie and the most upsetting part was the changing of the ending, I don't know why it was necessary and seemed pointless the change the end as it would have made no difference to the audience for those who had read the books or not. Their were other small parts that seemed pointless to change, such as Hermione not giving the goblin her wand when everything stills says the same with the rest of the scene.

But when all is said and done, it was an amazing film that did an amazing job wrapping up the series. From beginning to end the movie was riveting, fun, dark, entertaining, and magical. The music, acting (except fucking Ginny), plot, and tone were all perfect.

P.S - The 3d was pretty good, I have seen it in both 3d and 2d, and I enjoyed 2d more, but it is all preference, switch it up, cause you'll see it more than once.

Overall Sabre Rating:

S-A-B-R-E

Green with.....Envy, no..... Green with Greed,no..... Green with not a good movie, YES!

The Green lantern was a movie, which had a big budget actor, the most desirable woman of the year, and nothing else.

The movie is about Hal Jordan (Ryan Reynolds) who inherits a ring, that is fuelled by the will of all living things. It can do anything, no big deal. Hal wearing the ring must kill an evil guy, hector who is infected by parallax - stupid name. Hal gets the girl, and the super suit, and the ring, and he is Ryan Reynolds.

The opening fifteen minute of this movie was absolutely terrible; it was completely CGIed with purple men, pinky men, and a weird smoke guy, parallax. The camera just kept zooming in and out of cosmic things, and galaxies, and a narrator who seemed to be 87 years old talk about parallax and some guy capturing him. I have mentioned Parallax numerous times, and my feelings on Parallax are that, he is one of the worst villains of all time!!!!!! his power is the colour yellow! (And fear, big deal) Who ever CGIed him should be fired, and moved to the colouring partly in the lines department.

Although the movie’s plot lacked in most ways, a huge amount of love must do out to ask men's most desirable woman of the year - Blake lively. I guarantee that a 5 to 10 minutes sex scene, with the Blake lively and Ryan Reynolds would have made it the movie of the year and a “hottest-sex-bomb scene” or something people choice awards. Just as a side note, Hal is not smart, he tried to stop a crashing helicopter with a race-track and some make-shift-piece-of-shit-car, stupid Hal.

But the best part of the movie by far, that blow all other parts of the movie out of the water, or space, was the guardians...now close your eyes...then open them (cause your going to have to read, just getting you into the mind set) they are a bunch of stupid little aliening probing-like creatures that are identical to the ones in the newest Indiana Jones....and they can long capes. I am sorry to the producers but I could not take the high and mighty guardians seriously.

Overall, if you want a little fun, some terrible plot lines, really bad physics (Hal flew to the sun in 20 seconds) and a very hot girl, go see it.
Overall Rating:
S-A-b-r-e

Watchmen + 300 + High Budget Porno = SUCKER PUNCH

The Ultimate Chick Flick for Men

Before I start this review I have to give a huge shout out to the beautiful woman in this movie, may you stay hot, forever. Now...

Suckerpunch is basically the best movie of all time when you attempt to explain the movie to someone, please allow me: Imagine story where the 6 main characters are woman and 5 of them are gorgeous (one is lacking her name is Rocket) and they live in a brothel-like place and when this one girl named baby doll does some crazy gyrating dance they enter a dream world. This dream world is filled with big ass ninjas that have gattling guns, massive dragons, World-War II battle sequences and hot girls.

This movie defines sexy in more ways than one, the first way being that it is sexy when a sexy woman is carrying around a sexy ninja sword and is sexyly jumping over stuff which is super sexy. The second way that it is sexy is in that smooth, flawless, pacing sexy, much like the way James Bond is sexy.

Although this movie was much like watching a soft-core porno, there was about 45 mintues of it that could have been much improved. This 45 mintues that I speak of is when Zach Snyder (Director) tries to develop the plot, not saying that he didn't develop it but that I wasn't to heavily invested in the characters personalities. This same 45 minutes included the low-lights of the movie, the parts that I like to call emotional.

The music in this movie is something to be commented on, it was covers of rocks song, with a very unique and original twist. It made for some very, intense and cool sequences from dancing to fighting.

The movie was amazingly entertaining, it was the ultimate guys movie, and oddly rated 14A, good job Zack Snyder. Calling all director of chick flick films: WATCH THIS MOVIE! And learn how to get the male audience!!!

I See Potential Limits...

The moral of the story is "DO ILLICT DRUGS" because they make your life better.

Limitless definently had a limit and it was about a 6.5 maybe a 7 out of 10. If you have seen the commercials then you know most of the movie. Basically a loser-hobo-newyork-writer takes a pill and then he can access 100% of his brain, this basically makes him the smartest person in the world - BUT WAIT!!! - there's a problem he could run out, people want what he has, there is a limit to his power...

The movie revolves around Bradley Cooper who has had a pretty shitty life and then he is offered a Pill to make him feel better, after taking this one pill he needs more, after taking more he climbs the world's richest and smartest peoples list, and then a bunch of stuff happens that I am clearly not going to tell you because I think you should go see the movie and there is a cliff hanger ending.

The acting in this movie could be much improved as the lead female Mrs. I have never seen her before literally couldn't produce a single emotion and I am betting that is why she got her clever nickname. Robert de Niro was by far the best actor in the movie but he only had about 40 lines. Bradley Cooper was alright. The cinematography in this movie was pretty cool from the endless streets, to the lighting and darkening of a persons vision to know if they were on the pill or not.

The pacing in this movie was pretty well done I didn't get bored at all, and I wasn't taken out of the movie at all even during the 25 minute withdraw scene, were he just ends up throwing up everywhere, and potentially killing someone.

I recommend the movie to those that want to be entertained, but if you are looking for a multi-dimensional movie, with layers of character development and like 400 underlying themes then you shouldn't watch this movie, like at all.

RATING

S-A-B-r-e

TH..a KIn...G'.S Spe...aC..h (or lack there of)

Not the Best Movie of The Year

When you think about the best film of the year, you may think of a movie that inspires you, or that is more than just talking head the whole time, well think again because The King's Speech is literally all talking heads. I guess if you were to here a movie called The King's Speech you would assume that there maybe alot of dialouge, and you would have assumed right.

Before I rip this movie apart I must say that it was a pretty good movie, and I think that alot of people would watch it again. I also must I say that colin firth did do a great job. Now.....

This movie was probably as boring as trying to have a conversation with helen keller about paint drying on a wall, and the paint colour was called grass growing really fucking slowly. During the movie there were long drawn-out scenes of either colin firth smoking, or looking at something, or someone else talking to colin firth were he doesn't talk back. If I had to compare the pace of this movie to a really life situation it would be the pace of a blind quadrapoligic "running" a quadrupile marathon throught the gobi desert ( making a little bit of an hyberbole but you get the point)


Helena Bonham Carter was nominated for best supporting actress, And I literally have no idea why, just because the movie was nominated, and Colin Firth was nominated doesn't mean that she had to be. She literally stood there. She didn't really have much screen time, or very many lines. Anyone that stepped into this role would have been nominated for best supporting actress.

The speech also sucked, it seemed like it might have been building up to an inspiring speech that brought together the whole not-great into some awesome montouge, and I could have left the thearte thinking "WOW! WHO AWESOMELY INSPIRING! THAT MOVIE HAD MEANING AND WAS AWESOME!" unforunately I didn't have this overwhelming feeling. Good - Not Great - Definatly not the best movie of the year - Good job Colin Firth - Didn't really do a job Helena Bonham-Carter - and Slow!!


Overall SABRE rating:
S-A-B-r-e

A Whole Lot of Really Good Nothing

She Literally Becomes the Black Swan, in the Mental Sense

The movie The Black Swan is about a woman who would probably be admitted to a pysc – ward with round the clock watch, with a sign on the door that reads – “Clinically Insane/ with hint of excessive obsession behaviour”. She is a ballerina, mentally fragile to begin with, and then receives the lead in Swan Lake and becomes completely fucking crazy.

The film revolves around Natalie Portman’s character Nina, and her declining mental state. She has always been devoted to ballet but this becomes an obsession that affects her health, as she strives to follow her director’s advice and dance with abandon and life.

Natalie Portman is absolutely amazing in her role as Nina and plays a really good FCG (Fucking Crazy Girl). She is happy/sad/up/down/high/innocent/drunk/prudish/beautiful/menacing in her role; it is clear and obvious why she is nominated for an Oscar.

The cinematography portion of this movie is exceptional, from every close cut camera angle to the same dance routine thirty times and especially to the gritty rave scene. There the music pounds louder and louder, as Nina tries to free herself by matching the free-spirit nature of the new dancer Lily. The rest of the time however when not the club scene or the music of the Swan Lake, the score made the movie closer to a horror movie. The second that deep violin music started playing you knew shit was going to go down.

The movie for acting, directing, and cinematic view was amazing and near perfect but where the movie started to lack was the screenplay. It lacked in the caring department; there were no stakes or reasons for us to care about the character. Sure she was a dancer who got a good role, and had a weird mother – but that doesn’t affect me or the world. FCG can be FC for all I care.

The movie also at some points had pretty strong connections to soft-core porn. Not saying it shouldn’t have been included but some things can be implied.

Overall though, The Black Swan is a great film without a good story and really is a whole lot of nothing by the end.

S-A-B-R-e